Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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