Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
