I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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