I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
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Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
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Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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