worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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