those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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