remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
