Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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