it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
