hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
