Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
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I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize