Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
