it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
