I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
