don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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