I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
