How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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