the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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