i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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