why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
