On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she peed on how many people?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
