So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
