some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
