I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have fence marks all over my body
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
