And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
