garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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