I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
