it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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