hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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