The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
