Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
