Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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