even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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