I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
