I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
