I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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