So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize