i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
