i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
