You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
