'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize