I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
