one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
