you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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