Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
