So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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