I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
