oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize