we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
