My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Why can't burritos get me drunk
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
