so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
two words: eviction party
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
