i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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