worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
do herpes really smell.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
