i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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