the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She has the best kind of daddy issues
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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