It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
