i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
