I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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