Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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